Baby Boomers

I have come to the realization that I should open up a clothing store for those of us who are....uhm, well, more than 49 years old!    Those of you who fall into this category know exactly what I am talking about!  

WHY CAN'T WE........
1.  Easily find tops year round with a 3/4 length sleeve - to better hide that flabby upper arm?  Enough of those SLEEVELESS tank tops!!
2.  Find PLAIN sweat shirts - instead of those decorated with pumpkins, leaves, deer, apples, or those that declare, "Grandma's Garden"?  We are not really amused by these!
3.  Find a NICE dress?   Why must all dresses for "mature" women be made out of ugly prints and decorated with lace that our grandmothers wore?
4.  Find dress slacks that are cut to flatter mature women?
5.  Find a PLAIN sweater without the sequins and/or other adornment, and one with a plain, ordinary neckline?
6.  Find a basic skirt that is not 6 inches above our mature knees?

Remember, the baby boomers are now the modern, mature shoppers!  Sad to say, most clothing in the stores look best on a 19 year old who weighs 90 pounds!  How about those necklines?  They plunge beyond decency!  Currently, the style is for tight jackets/shirts, as in "if you can button it, it fits,"  but really, I don't want to look like I am wearing something I have grown out of!   Goodness, it's even hard to find underwear for the modern, mature woman!

So, when I come into my millions, I think I will design clothing and open a new store especially for the modern, mature woman.   I will call it "Baby Boomers"  or something like that!   My store will cater exclusively to older women with flabby arms, thicker waistlines, rounder bottoms, sagging necklines, drooping breasts, varicose veins, gray hairs and any other jiggly parts or affliction that comes with maturity!!!  Oh yeah, my store will be equipped with special mirrors so that the baby boomers who shop there will look  like 19 year olds weighing 90 pounds!